One

I never thought I would write a blog. Then again, there are many things I never thought I would do, like own a condo (or for a little while, ever own a home, period...), get divorced, or be able to have a baby, and yet now here I am.

A little less than 4 years ago, all in the space of a month and a half, my divorce became final, I met my current wonderful boyfriend [who we'll refer to as B], and closed on the condo I now own. Pretty much exactly 2 years later, at the age of 40, I found myself seemingly impossibly pregnant with our amazing little baby boy [who we'll refer to as Ace] - who just turned one!

I am one of those people who believe things happen for a reason, and although I wasn't too sure I was ready for a relationship yet when I met B, there were increasingly plenty of signs that appeared, obvious and coincidental enough for me to pay attention. Signs that fell like dominos, one after another, that seemed to point in a certain direction. The mutual love of music, the discovered shared love of hockey, lots of other things, small and large. It was a new, exciting chapter for me, and especially with the addition of Ace to our lives, I sometimes feel like my life just recently began.

I don't really put too much weight on making mistakes, and dwelling on what-ifs. I've always believed wholeheartedly in the journey, paths taken or not. When someone asked if I felt like I wasted almost 10 years of my life being married before, and not really being happy much of that time, I quite honestly said no. I said I sort of felt like I'd been living a parallel life, and after a while I was just jolted or jogged over to this one. I think that's a good way to put it. It was all part of the same universe, maybe I just didn't realize my full potential before, but my past - mistakes and sometime happiness and all (for, at the time, we usually don't think the choices we're making ARE mistakes...) - is what helped shape the person I am today. I can't waste time believing that I wasted time, therefore I pretty much wouldn't change a thing. For me, when a window closed a door opened. Fall down seven times, get up eight - you get the picture...

I've read a few blogs over the past few years. Some standouts have been one about finding grace in grieving over the death of a newborn son, one about a Buddhist's self-deprecating, humor-filled beautiful journey through infertility to adoption, and one about fighting cancer while discovering everyday joys in life, exquisitely eloquent for its simple, heartfelt, humorous words. Those are the type of blogs that bring tears to your eyes, make you laugh out loud - make you tune in. Something to aspire to, that make you feel like you're not alone, and that keep you going.

I suppose, by their very nature, blogs are somewhat self-indulgent, even if they're meant to be cathartic. We, as humans, like a shared story. We crave connection, want to be heard, want to be loved. I've written since I was a little girl, but mostly privately. However, I've pretty much always wanted to be a writer, even if it was a secondary profession, or maybe more appropriately a professional hobby. I've always wanted to publish a book of poetry, write a screenplay that gets made into a movie. I've kept a journal for just over 25 years. Like I said, I never thought I'd write a blog, but if I keep this one up, I hope my story will be anything close to the few blogs I've mentioned, in quality, humor, and making anyone besides me want to read it.

I named it Yarns and Libations because, well, stories and drink seem to go hand in hand, throughout time. I love red wine, and before I got pregnant, when I was bummed thinking I never would be, drinking wine (sometimes a lot of it...) was an enjoyable pastime. Because I could. (not that I'm dry now - I still enjoy my red wine, just one glass or 2, not LOTS) And I'm also a huge knitter, so "Yarns" is of course my nod to that beloved pastime, as well.

So, here I go - my very first blog entry, my first "Yarn" to share with you. And I think each time it's fitting to end with a "cheers" of sorts, whether you or I have a glass to raise at the time. My sign-off will be a hodgepodge: "Salute" (Italian - to health), "Prost!" (German, from the Latin, may it be good), and because I'm part Danish, "Skaal" (they say "Bunden i vejret eller resten i haret" or "bottoms up or the rest in your hair").

So, Salute, Prost! Skaal, and remember: there is no knot that cannot be undone.